Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Earthy Girls are Easy

So I get an email from my Dad after my last post that said (and this is verbatim) "So proud of you Carol, but your language does scare your Mom." Sorry Mom, can't totally control it at times. Am I offending anyone else out there? She had better not read this post because it is a bit of a doozie when it comes to personal details. But after the Weight Watchers one I figured I have nothing left to hide. Yesterday on the phone my Mom said, "You're not going to write about your colonoscopy are you?" Sorry Mom, you bet your ass I am (couldn't resist that one.) "You girls are just so earthy" she'll say whenever we discuss something body related. Well, I'm not going to discuss any specific details, but more the whole idea of it I suppose.

I know it is sort of a generational thing, but my friends and I talk about earthy/body stuff all of the time. We all go through all of these changes, especially after we have kids, why not just be open about it? I got an email yesterday from one sweet friend who is usually such a lady that said, "How's your butt?" But I feel fairly sure this is one issue about which Elliot and my Mom are on the same page. He gets just as mortified as she does about "Body talk". But he'd better get used to it in a house full of girls. He did put normal squeamishness aside on my colon cleanse day when he got annoyed with me about something and said, "Oh just go upstairs and drink your poop drink..." That's a gentleman for ya, it's nice to see we all let our "Earthiness" get the best of us at times.

For me, the preparation for the whole thing was 24 hours in which I realized my desperate need for snacks and coffee. Luxuries I could only appreciate once they were denied. Elliot came home from taking the girls out for dinner the night I was fasting and, like any man, began to describe in detail all of the changes that had been made to the menu at the restaurant where they had eaten, "The new fries were awesome, and Marshall had a burger..." I asked him to please stop, I hadn't eaten in 24 hours and really couldn't talk about food and we changed the subject. But somehow it drifted back to the menu and the grilled salmon that he knows I would LOVE. I finally had to remove myself and my growling stomach and go to bed...hungry.

So all details aside, I know in old posts I talked about "me" time and the modern mom's lack there of; but I realized this week lack of "me" time can make us that much more creative or adaptable. So if you have had a colonoscopy, you know that it's at least a 24 hour process to get ready for it, and I had to spend one afternoon/evening alone in my bedroom, which NEVER happens. I shouldn't have started this by complaining because it really wasn't that bad. Our sitter Lizzie had the girls in the afternoon and I had to explain to her what I was doing so she wouldn't wonder what was happening up there when she heard the toilet flush 50 times in one afternoon. You have to be ready to roll with the punches in order to be our babysitter and Lizzie always does. You also need not be easily grossed out...So I went upstairs to drink the "cleansing solution" that everyone had warned was so atrocious. But here's the thing, I was really looking forward to going up to my bedroom, closing the door, and having a legitimate reason why I got to stay in there and not be interrupted all afternoon. Can you actually imagine someone looking forward to the colon cleanse? But I'll admit it, I was. So what's 2 or 3 hours on the toilet mixed in with a little alone time in my bedroom? It didn't really bother me at all. It was kind of like when I was pregnant and everyone warned me about how awful the orange drink was that you had do have when you took the Gestational Diabetes test and then I actually really liked it. Did it not taste like Sunkist to anyone else? YUM. So I'll admit it, I enjoyed the Sunkist drink, and I enjoyed the colon cleanse, simply because I only had to focus on me (not because I am some kind of fecal freak of something...)

As I was enjoying my alone time/colon cleanse, I started thinking about the summer I was pregnant with the twins and My sister Tracy and her husband were taking a much needed trip to Europe sans kids. "I'm just looking forward to the flight." She said, and I totally didn't get it. Excuse me? Who looks forward to 10 hours crammed in coach overnight from New York to Rome? I would just be counting the hours until it was over. But now I can relate. Uninterrupted time where there really isn't the option of doing anything else- errands, laundry, carpool, is so very hard to come by.

The other fun part of the procedure was that my friend Tracy, who was sweet enough to take me, picked me up and we had a solid hour to talk and catch up in the car before we got there. When they took me back all of the nurses were so sweet, I mean, I don't ever remember when someone has been that nice to me, "Mrs. Broadfoot, your feet are a little cold, let me get you an extra warm blanket," My nurse Debbie remarked coming back seconds later to tuck me in. "Would you like a magazine? You look a little tired, I'll just turn the lights off for you while you wait for the anesthesiologist." I was laying there in disbelief wondering if I was on Candid Camera or something because I was so unaccustomed to anyone waiting on me like that.

After it was all over, Tracy and I went to breakfast and stuffed ourselves while we chatted over coffee. She drove me home and as I got out of the car I said, "This was so much fun, I really needed this..." Um, was this the dreaded colonoscopy I had just gone to? I was treating it as if we had just come back from a day at the spa. We acknowledged how silly that was and then she said, "I know, call me for your next procedure..."

I was actually pretty proud of myself for taking something that most every adult dreads and focusing on the positive. Who cares if I'm earthy, I'd rather just be honest about it so that maybe someone who's listening won't dread their colonoscopy so much. But here's the thing about the demands and intensity of parenting, it makes you so much tougher and flexible at the same time. You have to be able to just roll with it or you would go nuts. I thought about this when I was going into the procedure and they were putting in my IV. When the nurse apologized for the pinch I said, "I have 3 kids, this is nothing." And it's so very true. I will spare you any more details, but for this earthy girl, being honest about it all just makes it that much more easy.

So for today's pic, let's focus on someone other than me, because I have already put waAAAY too much out there. Here was my view of CeCe eating her lunch post play in the snow today. She stripped out of her pants down to footless tights, and it was too cute not to photograph...


  1. If I could have your attidue just for one day!

  2. Carol, once again you are funny about a very unfunny subject and this time even Mom laughed.